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Only Alice and Jennifer would speak with her, but only as professional caregivers. Alice tried to help her through her guilt. Jennifer tested her for disease.For the first time, a female had done something intentional that caused them all pain. Her actions had attacked the very core emotional intimacy of the group.Jennifer asked Sandy for the boy’s name. She went to him. He was a good kid and submitted to the disease tests. Like many teens, he had Chlamydia, but fortunately nothing else.Jennifer treated Maria again.Maria spiraled into a world of self-loathing. With her Latina cultural imperatives, she might hurt herself. Alice asked Michael to help. ”Michael, she’s beyond sorry. She was drunk on freedom and never thought of how much she would hurt you or us. Can you forgive her?” Alice pled for her patient, though a spark of fury remained for the pain Maria had caused.“Alice, I told her I’d forgiven her. She has to make the choice, though. If she wants the freedom to fuck. I fantasise about having truly relaxing holidays - reading, sunbathing, eating lots of chocolate and never putting on an ounce. But the truth is that as soon as I'm alone, with maybe a week or more ahead of me, I become quite frightened. I must fill the time, so that I do not give way to gloomy thoughts. Gardening and cleaning are often my saviours. I still feel a c***dish pleasure in getting filthy and pulling up weeds from my tiny garden; but I get a more adult sense of satisfaction from cleaning my home and presenting it well. I am a home-maker; I am not ashamed of it. I only wish I had a chance to make a home for myself and someone who really cared about me.I imagine sometimes how satisfying it might be to get down on my knees and scrub the kitchen floor. I remember my mother doing this, and the tweed skirt she wore at the time, stretched tightly across her spreading backside. So I see myself; an ordinary housewife in a small cottage somewhere, in a tight skirt and jumper,.
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